Zook before you leap ...

Apparently, this weekend's college football game between Illinois and Northwestern will be played at Wrigley Field, and with this special location comes a special danger - the outfield wall being what looks like inches from the back of the east endzone.

I know this because ESPN said so here. That's also where I saw the following quote from Illinois head coach Ron Zook:

"I just told them they're getting ready for the Arena League," Zook said. "If they don't make it to the NFL, you go to the Arena League."

I think that the fact that Ron Zook is their coach alone means they're playing Arena football when they leave. It's not the fault of Wrigley Field's right-field wall.

Sometimes you have to hear to believe ...

I can't believe this exists. Seriously. It's on a short list of the best/worst/best again things I've ever experienced. Priceless when he starts his Charles Barkley, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Stan Van Gundy impressions.

Don't let this go to your head...

Here's what James Harrison said about this tough hit he laid on Joshua Cribbs this past weekend:

"I thought Cribbs was asleep," Harrison said. "A hit like that geeks you up, especially when you find out the guy is not really hurt, he's just sleeping. He's knocked out but he's going to be OK."

My first instinct is to say something like 'What do you think you are, a doctor?" But the stupidity of his words just won't allow that. Asleep? You're talking about the guy who you just ran down and smashed into, head first, right? He's not narcoleptic. Maybe the hit was so hard that Harrison himself forgot he was even there.

I don't pretend to know much about what the NFL should do when it comes to rules, but I know this: people like Harrison aren't smart enough to figure out what's best. If he can't recognize what a concussion is and the serious repercussions of having this type of injury, he's a danger to everyone he encounters on the field of play. One day, I think he'll regret being so ignorant.

How many bands can kick your ass under a bridge?

Well, there was that one run-in I had with one half of Scorpions, but that was just a misunderstanding. Check out the video below, courtesy of http://www.blogotheque.net. This band really is that good.

Quarry Hymns - Land of Talk

This band really is just that good

The magical bling bling

So, I guess It's not enough that Guillermo del Toro left production of The Hobbit, leaving the film without a director (unless Jackson does it himself) and Peter Jackson as the de facto winner of the production's Michael Moore look-alike contest. Now, unions in New Zealand and Australia are getting in the way.

I don't really know who's right here, and I couldn't care less, honestly. I assume that there's a lot of money to be made here and that no one's getting completely ripped off. The fact of the matter is that no movies would be filmed in New Zealand if not for Peter Jackson, so maybe now's not the right time to get into this.

For now, everyone's favorite New Zealanders Bret and Jemaine's synopsis of the Lord of the Rings via song and rap will have to do.

Now, I'm no expert ...

but I don't think that you're looking for moments like this when you go climbing.

Outdoors sports are about camaraderie, the company of your peers and an obstacle or task that you want to complete together - for fun - but this is just taking it too far.

Shut up about dogs already ...

In the months since the BP oil disaster ... wait, really? Months?

Yes, months since BP directly (or indirectly) caused what will probably end up as one of the more dramatic changes in an ecosystem in recent human history, we've seen a lot of things happen. For the most part, we see those things happen and shrug, going about our day as usual and wondering whether the iPhone 4's problems are truly the signs of an end to the Apple era.

We've seen birds, covered in oil. Whatever.
We've seen dead whales and dolphins. South Park said it best.
We've seen fisherman and oil industry workers lose their jobs. Put a shirt on, rednecks. It's time to join the shirted masses in office parks and skyscrapers.

Now they're dragging puppies into this, and that's just not going to work. Apparently, people whose jobs are affected by the oil spill just couldn't possibly bear to have a dog anymore. I mean, dog food (at it's cheapest) costs about $1 per day for most dogs. And how are they going to look for a job when they have to walk a dog twice a day? That's, like, 30 minutes of jobless wandering while other, less dog-encumbered, people are grabbing up all the good stuff.

"I could've been a stocker at the Wal-Mart, or a cook at Boston Market. Now look at me. I'm walking my dog. And later, he's going to jump on the couch because I'm too depressed to say no. And he's going to lick Cheetohs out of my chest hair. What kind of life is that for a man."

-- Unknown

I agree. You shouldn't be eating Cheetohs in the first place. As for the chest hair, perhaps an upgrade in the shirt department is in order. I know, I know. Wife beaters are incredibly comfortable, but how about you slip on that Dale Jr. shirt that you found at the thrift store. You know, the one that had less armpit stains than the Tony Stewart one next to it, and even though Tony Stewart is definitely a better driver than Dale Jr., you, for once, made a decision where personal hygiene trumped your love for NASCAR? There you go.

Now, about that job ... yeah ... it's going to be a while on that one. Wealthy multi-national conglomerates don't tend to "hurry up" for the sake of the lower working class. Enjoy extended unemployment (maybe), your eventual "big" check from BP and free health care (hopefully).