Monday, April 6, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Sunday Funday
Things I've done today, as of 3:30 pm:
(1) Ran 2 miles
(2) Nothing
Nothing isn't entirely accurate ... I've watched both The Patriot and We Were Soldiers. It must be Mel Gibson's birthday or something ... I also caught bits and pieces of everyone's favorite middle child, Frankie Muniz, in the horror fest that is Stay Alive.
Sounds like a movie that features zombie Barry Gibbs chasing towns people via the electric slide. You could say this would be a simple zombie to evade - one that can only chase you by moving to left, to the right, now slide - but then again, aren't zombies usually really easy to avoid and yet people still screw it up?
Stay Alive is actually another one of those movies where some supernatural force exerts itself on the world via some new media - cell phones, the television or in this case, video games. Like we needed one, let alone the plethora of such movies that have been released in the last five or six years.
Anyway, the reason I even mention that Stay Alive was on is that I might have found a way to make these crap movies, which I actually watch on a regular basis, a little more interesting. Here's the plan ... Start watching the movie to get an idea of the general plot. Then, after the first commercial break, skip a section of the movie. Continue in this fashion, skipping every other section of the movie, but make sure you see the end.
What this does is create holes in the plot - unexplained new characters, references to events you know nothing about, etc. - which you can then find your own unique way to justify. In the case of Stay Alive, I know that I saw Frankie Muniz die. He was stabbed by some crazy looking lady in a red cloak. <> Here's Frankie Muniz saving the hero of the movie (some sorry excuse of an actor that I'm not familiar with) from same red cloaked lady. WTF?
I'm sure the movie explained this. I'm also sure that it was something really, impossibly dumb. But, since I skipped that part, I can invent whatever I want. Maybe Frankie Muniz is really a T1000, sent from the future to ... oh, well that's not very original, is it? Maybe he's ... no, that was the plot from Mad Max. Damn ... too much Mel Gibson today.
(1) Ran 2 miles
(2) Nothing
Nothing isn't entirely accurate ... I've watched both The Patriot and We Were Soldiers. It must be Mel Gibson's birthday or something ... I also caught bits and pieces of everyone's favorite middle child, Frankie Muniz, in the horror fest that is Stay Alive.
Sounds like a movie that features zombie Barry Gibbs chasing towns people via the electric slide. You could say this would be a simple zombie to evade - one that can only chase you by moving to left, to the right, now slide - but then again, aren't zombies usually really easy to avoid and yet people still screw it up?
Stay Alive is actually another one of those movies where some supernatural force exerts itself on the world via some new media - cell phones, the television or in this case, video games. Like we needed one, let alone the plethora of such movies that have been released in the last five or six years.
Anyway, the reason I even mention that Stay Alive was on is that I might have found a way to make these crap movies, which I actually watch on a regular basis, a little more interesting. Here's the plan ... Start watching the movie to get an idea of the general plot. Then, after the first commercial break, skip a section of the movie. Continue in this fashion, skipping every other section of the movie, but make sure you see the end.
What this does is create holes in the plot - unexplained new characters, references to events you know nothing about, etc. - which you can then find your own unique way to justify. In the case of Stay Alive, I know that I saw Frankie Muniz die. He was stabbed by some crazy looking lady in a red cloak. <
I'm sure the movie explained this. I'm also sure that it was something really, impossibly dumb. But, since I skipped that part, I can invent whatever I want. Maybe Frankie Muniz is really a T1000, sent from the future to ... oh, well that's not very original, is it? Maybe he's ... no, that was the plot from Mad Max. Damn ... too much Mel Gibson today.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
We've been over this already ...
I went to the art crawl tonight. It'd be great to blog all about art at this time, but it looks like I kind of did that yesterday. There were actually a lot of really interesting pieces on display. Unfortunately for me, currency is not based on the *pocket lint standard*, so I don't really have the dough to give any of it a good home.
Walking around the arcade (no Galaga) and downtown Nashville was a bit of an eyeopener for me. I live so close to downtown and I never go down there and participate in what this city has to offer. I'm always up for going to a show or going to a bar to hang out, but I rarely take the time to see what kind of events are going on outside that realm.
Who knows what I've missed in favor of a pint of beer. What I do know is that the beer is not going anywhere, but these opportunities to braoden my horizons can be fleeting.
Pheonix is on SNL ... time to go.
Walking around the arcade (no Galaga) and downtown Nashville was a bit of an eyeopener for me. I live so close to downtown and I never go down there and participate in what this city has to offer. I'm always up for going to a show or going to a bar to hang out, but I rarely take the time to see what kind of events are going on outside that realm.
Who knows what I've missed in favor of a pint of beer. What I do know is that the beer is not going anywhere, but these opportunities to braoden my horizons can be fleeting.
Pheonix is on SNL ... time to go.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Down to the wire ...
What to talk about tonight ...
Okay. From the looks of things I haven't discussed music here yet. I don't really want to overdo things in my first post on the subject, but it wouldn't be a bad thing to introduce early on, as it consumes the better part of my brain's function.
Art, in general is an interesting thing. When you create it, you're expressing some inner thought or feeling that no one else on this planet can replicate. People can get close, but they can never be exactly the same as you. This gives every artistic expression an inherent value. But, who decides what's good and what's not? Painters are only good if they die, or are crazy or are some virtuoso kid who might not really be painting at all. So what about music? What makes music good or bad? This is where things get crazy for me and music ...
Music has become a commodity. As a musician, your art has been monetized in a way that people who don't create can understand. They see your notes bobbing down a conveyor belt in a factory and they try to determine if what's going on there is efficient enough to make a profit. Then, they market the music, and they place it on a shelf and they do their best to convince us - the masses - that we should agree that the music they're putting out there is the best the world has to offer.
So many people stop right there in their search for music that it scares me. And I'm not directing this solely to people that frequent the Top 40 section at Best Buy because this applies so often to so-called music snobs as well. People who like a band like Arcade Fire, Animal Collective or The Decembrists only because it's not what's in *the mainstream*. Tell me why you like them. What makes them so special and better than any other artist? Do you honestly believe that there's not a marketing or management team that positioned all three of these artists in that way just to catch your eye?
I would guess that the only reason they got record deals over a host of other talented acts that neither you nor I know of is that someone saw money. They knew you'd buy in and that you, as a dissenter to the mainstream, would identify yourself as someone with *good taste* by telling all other dissenters about how great Arcade Fire is.
So, like I was saying an hour and four paragraphs ago, what do good and bad really mean when it comes to music? It's probably the most subjective question possible, to ask someone if a song is good or bad.
And success musically doesn't mean your good! What's that about? The Backstreet Boys sell record-setting numbers of albums, make all that money and it takes years for people to wake up and realize they're terrible. An artist like Jeff Buckley toils away in relative obscurity for a while, gets drunk and jumps in the Mississippi, and only then do people jump on the bandwagon?
Maybe my problem is that I feel that you should be good to be successful and that being bad shouldn't be rewarded. The Backstreet Boys will live on, and on, and on, and they will be remembered as a success, and some people will say that they were good. The same is true of Jeff Buckley. The only real difference is that only one of them is an artist.
At least, that's my opinion.
Okay. From the looks of things I haven't discussed music here yet. I don't really want to overdo things in my first post on the subject, but it wouldn't be a bad thing to introduce early on, as it consumes the better part of my brain's function.
Art, in general is an interesting thing. When you create it, you're expressing some inner thought or feeling that no one else on this planet can replicate. People can get close, but they can never be exactly the same as you. This gives every artistic expression an inherent value. But, who decides what's good and what's not? Painters are only good if they die, or are crazy or are some virtuoso kid who might not really be painting at all. So what about music? What makes music good or bad? This is where things get crazy for me and music ...
Music has become a commodity. As a musician, your art has been monetized in a way that people who don't create can understand. They see your notes bobbing down a conveyor belt in a factory and they try to determine if what's going on there is efficient enough to make a profit. Then, they market the music, and they place it on a shelf and they do their best to convince us - the masses - that we should agree that the music they're putting out there is the best the world has to offer.
So many people stop right there in their search for music that it scares me. And I'm not directing this solely to people that frequent the Top 40 section at Best Buy because this applies so often to so-called music snobs as well. People who like a band like Arcade Fire, Animal Collective or The Decembrists only because it's not what's in *the mainstream*. Tell me why you like them. What makes them so special and better than any other artist? Do you honestly believe that there's not a marketing or management team that positioned all three of these artists in that way just to catch your eye?
I would guess that the only reason they got record deals over a host of other talented acts that neither you nor I know of is that someone saw money. They knew you'd buy in and that you, as a dissenter to the mainstream, would identify yourself as someone with *good taste* by telling all other dissenters about how great Arcade Fire is.
So, like I was saying an hour and four paragraphs ago, what do good and bad really mean when it comes to music? It's probably the most subjective question possible, to ask someone if a song is good or bad.
And success musically doesn't mean your good! What's that about? The Backstreet Boys sell record-setting numbers of albums, make all that money and it takes years for people to wake up and realize they're terrible. An artist like Jeff Buckley toils away in relative obscurity for a while, gets drunk and jumps in the Mississippi, and only then do people jump on the bandwagon?
Maybe my problem is that I feel that you should be good to be successful and that being bad shouldn't be rewarded. The Backstreet Boys will live on, and on, and on, and they will be remembered as a success, and some people will say that they were good. The same is true of Jeff Buckley. The only real difference is that only one of them is an artist.
At least, that's my opinion.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Quizno's, Frank Zappa and just a touch of ... everything else possible
I'm sure that more than a few people have watched and discussed this most recent Quizno's ad, but it's been on my mind to address it myself and I am desperate need of material for my blog as it's already 10:30 pm on the second day of the Blogging Challenge.
Hopefully, you clicked on the link to that video, maybe hit the back button on your browser of choice because you forgot to open in a new tab (CTRL+Click - who knew there'd be a technical side to this ...) and have returned to read the remainder of my blog.
The basic premis of this commercial, as I see it, is that this particular purveyor of toasted sandwiches has developed an unnatural relationship with the oven. The last time I remember hearing anything about people having unnatural relationships with kitchen appliances was Frank Zappa's Joe's Garage, which uses this same story telling device to take shots at the church of scientology.
In the song A Token of My Extreme (lyrics here), it is explained to the tragic hero of our story, Joe, that he is a *latent appliance fetishist* and that his life will only be fulfilled when he joins the Church of Appliantology and chooses the appropriate appliance mate. In his case, it ends up being a toaster that speaks German. I won't go any further in to this story because it gets both disturbing and hard to follow at this point of the album. Plus, I totally have more to say about Quizno's.
Mt point in all of this is simple, really, and it is this:
What the hell, Quizno's? What. the. hell? ...
All of this sexual inuendo about this dude and his toaster doesn't really make me want a sandwich. If anything, it makes me question exactly what you do with these *torpedo* sandwiches before you try to pawn them off on my for $4.99.
And this isn't the first time that Quizno's has gone creepy with their commercials. Long before a baby was telling you all about the stock market and how easy it is (child's play, really), Quizno's had Bob. He's a little baby that acts like a grown up. This, in my opinion, isn't a good thing - it's just plain creepy. To top out the creep factor, I'm pretty sure Artie Lang from The Howard Stern show is his voice.
The other weird-ass marketing ploy Quizno's threw our way a few years ago was the concept of a maybe-dead-rat-maybe-levitating-marsupial flying thing that sings to you about Quizno's on occasion.
I get that all of these companies are trying to be cool and all, with their weird *viral* marketing, but if you're going to do this - do it right. Like Skittles. That's how you make a weird commercial.
I'm not sure if I really made my point about Quizno's, I just see a lot of links. Sounds like a blog to me: no coherent point + links + a self-depricating closing sentence which makes it sound like I didn't take this seriously (I did) so that I can't be at fault if I'm wrong.
Hopefully, you clicked on the link to that video, maybe hit the back button on your browser of choice because you forgot to open in a new tab (CTRL+Click - who knew there'd be a technical side to this ...) and have returned to read the remainder of my blog.
The basic premis of this commercial, as I see it, is that this particular purveyor of toasted sandwiches has developed an unnatural relationship with the oven. The last time I remember hearing anything about people having unnatural relationships with kitchen appliances was Frank Zappa's Joe's Garage, which uses this same story telling device to take shots at the church of scientology.
In the song A Token of My Extreme (lyrics here), it is explained to the tragic hero of our story, Joe, that he is a *latent appliance fetishist* and that his life will only be fulfilled when he joins the Church of Appliantology and chooses the appropriate appliance mate. In his case, it ends up being a toaster that speaks German. I won't go any further in to this story because it gets both disturbing and hard to follow at this point of the album. Plus, I totally have more to say about Quizno's.
Mt point in all of this is simple, really, and it is this:
What the hell, Quizno's? What. the. hell? ...
All of this sexual inuendo about this dude and his toaster doesn't really make me want a sandwich. If anything, it makes me question exactly what you do with these *torpedo* sandwiches before you try to pawn them off on my for $4.99.
And this isn't the first time that Quizno's has gone creepy with their commercials. Long before a baby was telling you all about the stock market and how easy it is (child's play, really), Quizno's had Bob. He's a little baby that acts like a grown up. This, in my opinion, isn't a good thing - it's just plain creepy. To top out the creep factor, I'm pretty sure Artie Lang from The Howard Stern show is his voice.
The other weird-ass marketing ploy Quizno's threw our way a few years ago was the concept of a maybe-dead-rat-maybe-levitating-marsupial flying thing that sings to you about Quizno's on occasion.
I get that all of these companies are trying to be cool and all, with their weird *viral* marketing, but if you're going to do this - do it right. Like Skittles. That's how you make a weird commercial.
I'm not sure if I really made my point about Quizno's, I just see a lot of links. Sounds like a blog to me: no coherent point + links + a self-depricating closing sentence which makes it sound like I didn't take this seriously (I did) so that I can't be at fault if I'm wrong.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Blogging Challenge: Day One, and no other thoughts
The great thing about doing a blogging challenge is that it gives you an excuse not to try on the first day.
I suppose I could post a link to some super cool video. No, that video's not that cool. It's just some dude showing you how to use chopsticks.
I feel like this is an *either you have it or you don't* type skill. It's not like there are millions of people out there wondering how to pick up chopsticks and hold them - I think we all get that part. And pinching them together? Not difficult. It certainly doesn't require some half-assed lesson from the only white dude at the dinner table in Vietnam.
Maybe someone else at the table could answer some tougher questions. Like ... why do Asian markets always smell so bad? I think it's their questionable standards for storing dead fish. If you've been to one, you probably have seen what I mean. Also, what are the realistic chances kung pao chicken is kung pao not chicken?
Putting all of this aside, the biggest reason not to learn how to use chopsticks is the fork. This is followed closely by the spork and less closely by salad tongs.
This blog didn't go where I tought it would. Ignore that whole *no other thoughts* thing in the subject line. Maybe that'll be my blog theme: writing a clear subject line, sticking to it for a sentence or two and then rambling for half an hour.
This did not take half an hour...
Clearly, I'm in trouble here.
I suppose I could post a link to some super cool video. No, that video's not that cool. It's just some dude showing you how to use chopsticks.
I feel like this is an *either you have it or you don't* type skill. It's not like there are millions of people out there wondering how to pick up chopsticks and hold them - I think we all get that part. And pinching them together? Not difficult. It certainly doesn't require some half-assed lesson from the only white dude at the dinner table in Vietnam.
Maybe someone else at the table could answer some tougher questions. Like ... why do Asian markets always smell so bad? I think it's their questionable standards for storing dead fish. If you've been to one, you probably have seen what I mean. Also, what are the realistic chances kung pao chicken is kung pao not chicken?
Putting all of this aside, the biggest reason not to learn how to use chopsticks is the fork. This is followed closely by the spork and less closely by salad tongs.
This blog didn't go where I tought it would. Ignore that whole *no other thoughts* thing in the subject line. Maybe that'll be my blog theme: writing a clear subject line, sticking to it for a sentence or two and then rambling for half an hour.
This did not take half an hour...
Clearly, I'm in trouble here.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tom Hanks and ... ?
Okay, I was just about to go to sleep but I got stuck watching Big on VH1. When I think of Big, I think of Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks and ... Tom Hanks and that fortune telling machine that makes him big. There's nobody else in this movie, in my mind. So, when I look at the Comcast description and see *Tom Hanks, Jared Rushton*, all I can think is who in the hell is Jared Rushton?.
Why even bother mentioning him? Maybe I'm missing something ... so I go to IMDB, the definitive source for all things movie related and, not to my surpirse in any way, Jared Rushton is nobody. Honey I Shrunk the Kids is the closest thing to a popular movie that kid ever was in after Big. Not to belittle Rick Morranis' achievements in his career, but that movie is hardly anything you'd consider *good*.
My question is ... why not just leave it at Tom Hanks. That's really enough. Mention Tom Hanks and I'm sold on watching it. Don't worry about Jared 'Nobody Gives a Damn' Rushton. Trust me, no one was wondering who played Billy, anyway.
Why even bother mentioning him? Maybe I'm missing something ... so I go to IMDB, the definitive source for all things movie related and, not to my surpirse in any way, Jared Rushton is nobody. Honey I Shrunk the Kids is the closest thing to a popular movie that kid ever was in after Big. Not to belittle Rick Morranis' achievements in his career, but that movie is hardly anything you'd consider *good*.
My question is ... why not just leave it at Tom Hanks. That's really enough. Mention Tom Hanks and I'm sold on watching it. Don't worry about Jared 'Nobody Gives a Damn' Rushton. Trust me, no one was wondering who played Billy, anyway.
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