Of dinosaurs, mystical beasts and the lies that spawned them...

Just about every day, I go to CNN.com to check out all the latest news. Okay, so maybe not all the latest news, but they do occasionally sprinkle in the events of the world inbetween Bieber sightings and celebrity rumors.

Given the prevalence of news that no one cares about, it is particularly striking when something comes up that is truly noteworthy. Maybe that's what they're going for - driving people to the real news by surrounding it with a pile of crap. So, today, you might imagine my surprise/excitement/dare I say all-encompassing zeal for this story.

FLYING CREATURE DIVERTS PLANE

You can't write that and have any sane person avoid clicking. But isn't a 'flying creature diverts plane' scenario, is it? No. When you click on that link you're greeted by a commercial followed by a bunch of people in a plane freaking out about a bat in the cabin. Not to say that I wouldn't duck to avoid the bat if it was there, but the titled of that story is almost a lie. At the very least, it's an exaggeration that in my mind violates a secret code of ethics for all humans that says (and I paraphrase) 'if you're going to make it sound like there's a mythical creature, don't prove yourself wrong by giving too much evidence to the contrary.'

Think of it this way. Why do we have the Yeti? Because no one who isn't crazy (you have to be a little bit to be climbing on Everest or K2) or who wasn't oxygen deprived and lonely has ever seen it. Do we believe them? Well, yeah. Kind of. But we all know that, given enough time alone, a human being is more than capable of creating an imaginary friend, and an imaginary friend that terrorizes goats in the high mountain passes of the Himalayas just points to a childhood filled with too many video games and violent movies. The lack of evidence allows our imagination to run wild.

So, the next time you decide to post a story about a winged creature diverting a plane, CNN, don't include video. Give me an incoherent quote from the dumbest person on the plane and call it a day. Better yet, link that title to a blank page and I will assume quite rightly that the person writing the story was eaten by said beast and only a few other survived the attack. Giant pterodactyl fantasy achieved.

Best music video ever.

A friend of mine posted this video today and basically blew my mind. This was nominated for a Grammy?



First of all, who would pick a T-Rex as their drummer? That dude's stubby arms would make it almost impossible to play any cool fills or even do that fist-in-the-air back beat style that Tommy Lee and so many other drummers of the 80s perfected. Second of all, he ditches his all-dinosaur band at the end of the video to play with a bunch of dudes with perms and jean jackets. You would never do this. Nothing would sell tickets like an all-dino band. If you did manage to make this mistake, it'd be your last one because they'd be pissed and likely eat you.

Learn from this video. Never turn your back on a dinosaur to whom you just gave bad news. You won't be running off with your friends to play that gig you were all so excited about. The cop won't confide in you that he too once dream of rock-n-roll shows. You will be eaten.